She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
