your parents love me but you hate me
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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