if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.