Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope

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  (330): Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope http://tfl.nu/5njb
  Replies (17) Good night (688) Bad night (4173)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous

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  (304): I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous http://tfl.nu/zxmn
  Replies (27) Good night (5483) Bad night (680)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  couldn't find a condom?

  (804): View more from Virginia

  basically

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  (804): don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you (1-804): couldn't find a condom? (804): basically http://tfl.nu/rfmp
  Replies (16) Good night (5914) Bad night (1348)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side

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  (918): Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side http://tfl.nu/owir
  Replies (24) Good night (1311) Bad night (7651)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.

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  (301): Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd. http://tfl.nu/3wwu
  Replies (20) Good night (6208) Bad night (1179)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  This gyro tastes like lonliness

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  (402): This gyro tastes like lonliness http://tfl.nu/d72i
  Replies (14) Good night (899) Bad night (4030)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god

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  (740): you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god http://tfl.nu/byer
  Replies (25) Good night (7536) Bad night (1052)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was

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  (203): She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was http://tfl.nu/dgtk
  Replies (15) Good night (3942) Bad night (1335)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok

  (850): View more from Florida

  They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good

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  (850): I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok (850): They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good http://tfl.nu/qtm7
  Replies (10) Good night (6489) Bad night (1755)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult

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  (972): Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult http://tfl.nu/j3hz
  Replies (5) Good night (1257) Bad night (645)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.

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  (507): You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face. http://tfl.nu/rpml
  Replies (12) Good night (602) Bad night (1096)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  "But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!

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  (210): "But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!! http://tfl.nu/6byh
  Replies (3) Good night (1501) Bad night (430)
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  (562): View more from California

  I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.

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  (562): I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help. http://tfl.nu/iwuh
  Replies (3) Good night (407) Bad night (309)
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  (818): View more from California

  I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads

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  (818): I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads http://tfl.nu/it8j
  Replies (5) Good night (380) Bad night (350)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred

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  (814): Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred http://tfl.nu/bcw1
  Replies (1) Good night (479) Bad night (229)

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