He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?