Texts From Last Night

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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat

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  (802): I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat http://tfl.nu/eud8
  Replies (26) Good night (970) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?

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  (620): How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline? http://tfl.nu/r7ot
  Replies (16) Good night (7149) Bad night (717) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.

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  (650): My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent. http://tfl.nu/z7vz
  Replies (7) Good night (790) Bad night (3144) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie

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  (502): He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie http://tfl.nu/8h9i
  Replies (74) Good night (665) Bad night (6965) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work

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  (806): a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work http://tfl.nu/5pwl
  Replies (19) Good night (805) Bad night (3994) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  low key just jizzed in a chinese food container

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  (321): low key just jizzed in a chinese food container http://tfl.nu/tufb
  Replies (7) Good night (631) Bad night (3614) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.

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  (517): I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair. http://tfl.nu/elj5
  Replies (17) Good night (1408) Bad night (4167) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.

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  (480): I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts. http://tfl.nu/t2zp
  Replies (32) Good night (727) Bad night (7837) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.

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  (512): It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad. http://tfl.nu/27g7
  Replies (24) Good night (683) Bad night (6148) Order T-Shirt
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.

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  (501): Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money. http://tfl.nu/efs0
  Replies (5) Good night (2216) Bad night (650) Order T-Shirt
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  (509): View more from Washington

  You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.

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  (509): You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed. http://tfl.nu/gs8p
  Replies (7) Good night (1156) Bad night (817) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  It's a journey

  (1-907): View more from Alaska

  And the destination is his penis?

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Precisely.

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  (907): It's a journey (1-907): And the destination is his penis? (907): Precisely. http://tfl.nu/ln5a
  Replies (2) Good night (1174) Bad night (282)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  What kind of costume was that supposed to be??

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm an orgasm trader!

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  (202): What kind of costume was that supposed to be?? (1-202): I'm an orgasm trader! http://tfl.nu/kj4e
  Replies (4) Good night (804) Bad night (206) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.

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  (817): Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it. http://tfl.nu/xes0
  Replies (8) Good night (1003) Bad night (426) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.

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  (309): Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror. http://tfl.nu/0k0h
  Replies (2) Good night (543) Bad night (239) Order T-Shirt

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