so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security