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• (540): View more from Virginia

  new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?

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• (352): View more from Florida

  He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  This is why you shouldn't make decisions

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  DR UNK TOWN USA

  (770): View more from Georgia

  TEAM USA GO AMERICA

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.

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• (925): View more from California

  Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.

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