whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.