My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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