His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize