Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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