he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You pole danced in your parka.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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