You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
