if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
