I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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