If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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