I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
