is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
