We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
