I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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