Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
