I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
