I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize