roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
