How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
