He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
