Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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