guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Randomize