i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
