he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
the day after is always just damage control
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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