I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
