I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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