what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
