i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
