Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you traded sex for a burrito?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
it's like iHOP with fire
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
