as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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