How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
