just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
