News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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