Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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