paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
