Don't make out with my wife yet
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
