hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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