Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
