Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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