O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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