it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
