i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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