he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
