Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
