How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
