Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
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The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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