ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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