I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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