my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
