Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Can I color on your dick again?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
