Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
