i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
