Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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