I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize