? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
