The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think your dad took our porno
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
