Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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