Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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