Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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