MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
