Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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